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  1. 1 h 47min
  2. Genres Horror
  3. Star Hanneke Talbot, Laura Vandervoort
  5. liked it 1566 Vote
  6. user Rating 5,8 / 10 Star

 

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Still there are normal people on the Balkans. Niya sve propalo! Cheerz from Bulgaria. Jen and Sylvia Soska decided that for their fifth feature film, they would attempt to be the first filmmakers to remake a David Cronenberg film. In this particular case, his 1977 film, Rabid.
I sat through the world premiere of the film at the 2019 FrightFest Film Festival, and the result was witnessing one of the worst genre films of the year to hit the big screen, and more proof that often, remakes suck. Rabid was way worse than I expected it to be. I wanted to like it. I was hoping it would be good. But what a perplexing mess of a film! From the odd opening scene, to the smash-cut title card, to the out-of-place drone shot of a city, the red flags were already waving mere minutes in.
Rabid is way too long (one has to sit through about 35 minutes of eye-rolling before it sort of gets going) horribly shot and poorly lit. The tone is all over the map. The confusing narrative shines as the film doesn't know what it wants to be. I doubt Rabid's supposed to come off "funny" either - maybe unintentionally funny? If so, I'm not laughing. But, it does. From silly hospital scenes, to cringe-worthy performances (if only the surgeon had a mustache to twirl on or the laughable bad fashion designer, Gunter) to the cat-walk shoot-out to a pointless third act which feels like there were plans for a substantial/ambitious sequence but it wound up scaled back for various reasons, and winds up feeling like it's tacked on.
I laughed out loud at a couple parts (especially the "hey let's give homage to Dead Ringers" because why not, don't we have to? Pointless. The Soskas are trying so hard to get validation from Cronenberg, that they forgot to focus on the film. Are we supposed to laugh at this? Was there someone responsible for continuity? Details? Editing? Yikes. The Soska sisters should be embarrassed.
If the Soska sisters spent the time on their craft as "filmmakers" as they do with their rabid (excuse the pun) fanbase, they might have had something coherent to write and produce about/with. But with each subsequent film since 2012's American Mary, the Soska sisters are proving they are really are a fluke. A one-hit wonder. Perhaps they should stick to game show hosting because they do have the personalities and a knack for that. All showmanship, no substance.
In the end, RABID winds up a five-million dollar dumpster fire (seriously, where did the money go. and the first Cronenberg film to be infected with crappy remake labeling. The Soskas certainly achieved that with the film. Perhaps one day, someone else will come along and remake Cronenberg properly, because he's not off to a good start.

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